The woman whose ex-husband is accused of killing their son and trying to kill their daughter by leaping from a hotel balcony has relived the moment she turned around to find her family gone. In her first television interview Natasha Hogan said the family had gone on a make-or-break holiday in August 2006 to save their marriage.
Featuring never-seen-before home videos of the children growing up, the ITV Tonight documentary tells Mrs Hogan's side of that fateful day.
John Hogan, currently on trial in Crete for murder and attempted murder, denies both charges claiming he didn't plan to kill his children Liam, six, and Mia, now four.
Wiping tears from her eyes, Mrs Hogan, 35, told Trevor McDonald on the show: "He had a crazed look in his eye and I remember the look and I thought 'woah, I've not seen that look before'.
"I didn't know what it meant. I didn't know what was going to happen next, I didn't fear ever for my children or their safety.
"The next thing I know, I turn around and no-one's in the room. They've all gone."
She said the couple had been arguing minutes before John jumped from the balcony of the four-star Petra Mare Hotel in Lerapetra with his two children.
Little Liam died of his injuries, Mr Hogan had a broken arm, leg and chest injuries and Mia miraculously survived with a broken arm.
The devastated mother looked back on her life with her husband, who she has since divorced, describing him as a caring, loving father. She said: "He was devoted to those children almost to the point where it was obsession at times.
"They came first. End of story before anything else before me even."
She said their relationship broke down in 2005 when Mr Hogan set up his own tiling business.
Mrs Hogan, a casualty nurse, and her husband were working long hours and spending little time together.
They decided to go on holiday to give their relationship a chance and booked a two-week trip to Crete in August 2006.
But divorce was already on Mrs Hogan's mind.
She said: "I'd even looked into divorce on the computer one night which is just one of those things you do flippantly but I had looked into it.
"I had looked into the implications that it might have on my family.
"A week before we went on holiday John found it on the computer. He was very upset."
Mrs Hogan mentioned she was thinking of staying with her mother after the holiday and before long the couple were arguing again."He was ranting and I've know John ten years," she said. "I've never in my life seen him so angry or angry at all really."
His mood worsened over dinner at the hotel. She said: "He'd suddenly come out with 'well if you think you're having the house, you're mistaken and if you do have the house I'll burn it to the ground'. "At the point I thought, my God what you would burn the house with us in it? With the kids in it? With you and the kids in it?
"I didn't know what he meant but that comment scared me."
Mrs Hogan said that, agitated and growing angrier by the minute, Mr Hogan told the hotel receptionist that his family were going home and they needed flights immediately. He then went back to their fourth floor room to pack their suitcases.
Mrs Hogan said: "The cases were packed. Being a mother I looked at the cases and they wouldn't even close.
"He said 'what are you doing?'. I said 'whether you're thinking practically or not I've got to sort these cases out at the other end, and I'm trying to sort these cases out' and with that he had a crazed look in his eye and I remember the look and I thought 'woah I've not seen that look before'.
"I didn't know what it meant. I didn't know what was going to happen next, I didn't fear ever for my children or their safety, and with that he started saying 'John's packing is crap' and shouting those words over and over again and running round the room throwing every bit of contents out of the cases around the room.
"The next thing I know I turn around and no-one's in the room. They've all gone," she sobbed.
As her husband and children had been so close to the balcony door, she knew they must have gone over, she said.
"The second I realised they were gone, there was silence. Liam had been crying so he must have been crying up to that point because there was a deadly silence and at the same time I heard a woman screaming down below at ground level," she said.
"They just couldn't have gone anywhere else. There was nowhere else for them to go. I didn't want to go out. I didn't want to go to the balcony.
"I didn't want to see but I wanted to see if they were all right.
"At the moment I thought the three of them had died.
"I am an A & E nurse. I knew we were four floors up and I knew the chances of survival from that height.
"In an instant I thought they have to be dead," she said.
Mrs Hogan rang the hotel reception and told them to call an ambulance before running down the stairs to a scene no mother should face.
She said: "It was horrific. I screamed 'I'm the mum - let me through'.
"I think people were trying to protect me from seeing what I was going to see. "And I wasn't going to be stopped and I wasn't going to be protected and I wanted to help.
"First thing I saw was Mia being lifted up by one of the reps, alive looking around.
"I knew she was fine.
"The next thing I saw was little Liam on the floor just lying there in a heap and I didn't see John I didn't care about John I didn't look for John.
"All I cared about was Liam."
She went into 'nurse mode' and tried to resuscitate her son.
She said: "The medic that was sat next to me said, 'look yeah you're a nurse you're doing a great job if you want let me take over let's do it together. He's still breathing let's do it together', then he lost a breath so we'd breathe one in.
"I remember thinking I had the odd glance down his body, his legs were obviously broken.
"I knew he was dying.
"At one point I caught a glance of John who was to the right and I thought he was dead.
"There was no sign of life, there were no obvious injuries but there were no signs and I thought 'good, fine'. Just leave him alone and concentrate on my son'."
Within minutes Liam and Mia were rushed to hospital as doctors battled to save her son's life.
She said: "Suddenly a guy came up to me and said 'hello I'm the doctor I've been with your son'.
"And I just knew and he said 'we've lost him'. Part of me, the mother side of me, actually thought he could go to CT scan and he could end up brain damaged and he could end up in a wheelchair and that's great that would be fine because I wanted that to happen.
"I wanted him to still be with me."
Meanwhile Mia was having tests done.
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