The Spice Girls have spoken honestly for the first time about how the pressures of fame led to them splitting. The feisty five-piece, currently at the height of their reunion world tour, have spoken emotionally about their rise to fame, bullying, struggles with eating disorders and Geri Halliwell's shock decision to leave the band.
Melanie Chisholm, known as Sporty Spice, and Geri Halliwell, aka Ginger Spice, both developed eating disorders during the band's whirlwind success.
Mel C said: "My biggest, biggest fear and it made me feel nauseous just thinking about it was that the papers were going to say I'd put on weight..
"All through the Spice Girls I was terribly in control of what I was eating. I wasn't eating properly and I was over exercising. I was very skinny.
"I found having an eating disorder really embarrassing. I wasn't ready to talk about it and I found if somebody does approach you about it you keep them at arms length."
Geri said: "I was called podge spice. I was the fat, dumpy one. Any imperfection is completely blown out of proportion.
"There was one time that we were in Japan. We were exhausted and that night I made myself sick and I felt terrible. In the morning I said to the girls 'I'm bulimic'."
Although remaining band members Emma Bunton, Melanie Brown and Victoria Beckham knew the girls were unwell, they admit it was never discussed.
Mel B said: "Even though we were that close there were certain things you just don't talk about unless you feel there's a window in there."
Victoria added: "I feel ashamed of myself that I didn't give Melanie C more time. I didn't realise she had issues that she had."
Geri hit her biggest low in May 1998 when she announced she was leaving the band. She claimed she was exhausted and needed time out. "I remember knowing in my heart in the days approaching that I was going to leave," she said. "I just felt empty and that I'd given them everything I could. I felt like the band had got so big and the girls were almost like they didn't need me anymore.
"I definitely felt very redundant and like the wheels were turning without me there. I just felt I didn't belong anymore."
Emma recalled the day she first knew something wasn't right. " I remember being on a private jet, " she said. "We landed and Geri got up and said 'I'm going to say bye now girls'. I thought that was really weird. We never say bye to each other because we go home for a couple of hours and then we're back together."
Melanie C added: "It was all kicking off. We spoke to her on that day and said 'what are you doing you silly cow just come back'."
Geri made the announcement just days before the band were due to be jetting to America to kick off their world tour. "I was distraught but professionally we had to make it work and move forward," said Emma.
Mel B added: "My number one thing was right she's gone for whatever reason. She's got her reasons which must have been quite serious and heavy in her mind but we have a whole show to do with one person missing.
"We now have to re-choreograph the dance routines and dish out the lyrics. My brain automatically went to that."
The band was put together in 1994 after talent scouts posted an advert for female singers in a national newspaper. The girls were thrown together and shared a small house in Maidenhead. They admit members didn't always see eye to eye.
Mum of three Victoria said: "There were really, really good days when we had so much fun but there were some days that were absolutely awful.
"I've never laughed so much but I've also never cried so much.
"Mel B and Geri were the really, really loud ones. They were incredibly vocal. When they got on it was great but when they didn't it was a power struggle."
Emma said: "I remember being really shouted at by Geri quite a few times because I didn't think what she was saying was right. Sometimes she would say everything she said and did was how it should be and of course that's not true."
Mel C admitted she was bullied. "There were times when Melanie B was very mean to me like ganging up on people," she said. "It's kind of playground stuff but in quite an extreme situation which is hard."
Ten years on, Geri regrets being so bossy. She said: "I know I probably upset them at times and it's horrible to think I made them cry.
"I think it was because I was the eldest one I thought I knew what the right thing was. Sometimes I'd be too bossy and say 'come on we've got to do it like this'."
Halliwell has other regrets including the infamous Union Jack and plunging red sequin dresses she wore at the Brit Awards in 1997.
She said: "I hadn't worked out what I was going to wear and I had this stylist bring me this little tight black dress. I was like 'it's a bit boring isn't it' and I said 'why don't I put a union jack flag on it'?
"She said 'no, that's racist' so I put a peace sign on it and car spray painted my boots red.
"I had this other dress that I wore to pick up the award. I was quite clumsy and my boob fell out. It caused not the kind of press I suppose you want.
"I was a media package for them. I was always making mistakes, putting my foot in it or doing something."
Not long after the press got hold of topless photos of Geri taken when she was 18.
Victoria said: "We were selling records to children, teenagers and adults but children were the main ones buying our records at one time and I think we were all a bit concerned that might affect our fan base so I think it did probably cause a little bit of friction.
"We never said we were perfect and everybody has some kind of past."
The girls announced they were getting back together for a reunion tour on June 28th 2007, but had to persuade a reluctant Mel C first.
She said: "I was like 'no way. I am never going to do it again as long as I live'. I was busy and my life was very, very simple. I like it that way.
"So much time has moved on and all the old crap has gone. All the stuff we had to deal with has gone and if it rears its ugly head I'll be the first to eradicate it."
The girls performed live together for the first time in ten years on December 2.
Mel B said: "I always knew we were going to get back together. That was never a question in my mind."
Geri added: "I cannot tell you how excited, proud and joyful I felt to see those girls together. When we come together something magical happens.
"This reunion was about reconciliation.
"We've made an amazing memory to take on to when we're grandmothers."
Emma said: "Just to be out there again and see the other girls to the left and right to me is all I can ask for really."
Victoria added: "I think I'm going to cry through the whole thing because I'm genuinely happy to be back and have that support around me."
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